An Ideal World

☆67☆ [Video]

Sat, 05 Mar 2016 02:00:28 GMT

[Well, here's a rare sight these days: a certain lazy mage is actually showing his face on the network. He's sitting in a chair, a tired expression on his features, his arms crossed over his chest...

...and a Clefairy popping up every few seconds, poking him with what appear to be an assortment of evolution stones. Moon is not among them.

He lets this run for about thirty seconds before speaking up.]

All right. Who gave her this idea, and why? Hell, I'd take an answer for what she thinks she's doing.

I'm not even going to ask where she got them - I'm sure that's where Gail and Julia were the other day, taking a trip to Goldenrod on their own. Just... what?

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☆66.5☆ [Fourth Wall]

Mon, 30 Nov 2015 04:31:11 GMT

[So someone has decided to make a fort of blankets and pillows in the corner of the bedroom, and despite a certain Clefairy tugging at his pant leg to try and get him to come out, he's not budging.]

No way, Rose! Every time this happens, I get buried in crap or something else bothersome happens! I'm just gonna wait it out until everything calms down, and nothing annoying's gonna happen.

[Care to glitch into his room and prove him wrong?]

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☆66☆ [Video]

Wed, 14 Oct 2015 02:28:01 GMT

[The video starts pointing out the window, toward a yard where autumn-colored leaves are falling off the local trees. Ecruteak is great for that.]

So, we're halfway through October. It's been quiet so far, far as I know anyway. If things are going to be anything like the last few years, though, it's not gonna stay that way, so I guess this is kind of your friendly reminder not to go out alone this month. Not even for a five minute trip to the store, because you never know if a bunch of Duskulls and Shuppets are playing tug of war with a thing they shouldn't be for stupid reasons just around the corner.

[After a pause, he lets out a long sigh.]

That being said. Since you never know who's interested, and since some folks around this house still need to learn to let go of things that it'd be really nice to finally forget about...

[The camera view shifts to show that Ryner is standing... in the middle of a kitchen. And on the counter, there are a few bowls, a few containers of ingredients, a Yamask unsurely fiddling with a mini white board, and a Clefairy who looks very much like she does not want to be there.]

...Marian has agreed to teach everyone how to make dango. Anybody watching this, and me, and yes, you too, Rose.

["Fairy!" She is so very not pleased.]

Don't even try it today, this has gone on way too long and you know it. ...Well, anyway. Marian, whenever you're ready.

[he says as he puts the camera down where it has a good view of the whole counter. The Yamask trills cheerfully, and then pulls out and offers to Ryner... an apron. Mostly plain, though there's a little bit of lace at the bottom...

...He kind of stares at it for a moment.]

...Ahh, that's taking it a little too far, though. Why'd you even get that...?

( And here's an OOC cut for some TL;DR on the cooking itself. )

[Once they're cooked, and put on skewers, and once Marian has happily written her final note that says "And that's how you do it! See? It's not hard at all!" Ryner offers Rose one of the skewers.]

Thanks, Marian. So, Rose. What do you think?

[She's notedly hesitant. Because on the one hand, dango is the best. But on the other, kitchens and Marian and her dear partner should not be involved with both of those combined.

...Eventually dango being the best wins out, and she takes the skewer and takes a small bite of the one on the end. And chews thoughtfully.

And then goes over to Marian's white board, grabs a pen of her own, and writes, "Its not as good as the stuff from the store." But it doesn't look like she dislikes it, either.]

...Ahh, well, if you're not spitting it out in disgust or anything, I guess it's not too bad for a first time, then, right?

[He'll just ignore the glare she's shooting him that screams "don't you even dare do this again Dear Partner" as he takes a stick to have himself, then grabs the camera to turn it off.]

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☆65☆ [Video]

Tue, 04 Aug 2015 00:34:08 GMT

[Well this is quite the frustrated mage, who is just kind of sitting there at his desk with his head in his hands. He rubs his temple, and breathes in once or twice as if to start talking, but lets the air out instead because how do you even phrase this.

It's a full minute of the feed before he actually says anything.]

...Has anybody ever had to deal with a Ditto transforming into you and flirting with a stranger without your knowledge?

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☆64.5☆ [Fourth Wall]

Sat, 30 May 2015 21:03:49 GMT

[Another fourth wall, another pile of critters in a field somewhere.

Only this time, instead of Larvestas or Slimes, they're cute little white blobby things. Poyomons, not that anyone would recognize them. Maybe a Pabumon here or there in the pile.

And as usual, Ryner is buried in them, though at least his head's sticking out this time, so he can breathe.]

Great. This again. Of course.

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☆64☆ [Video]

Sat, 28 Mar 2015 01:32:30 GMT

Haa... Should've known. She only skipped last September 'cause of all the swarms, didn't she...

[The video shows a small pile of eggs, which a Carbink is hovering around, gently prodding with one of its ears in order to arrange them all just so.]

I have eggs for sale. Again. I'll add a list of what moves they should come with, I'm pretty sure I've got this down at this point... mostly, anyway...

...Ahh, also, has anyone around here dug a pond before? 'Cause I think that's gonna be the best thing for my Gyarados, not to mention the other fish, and I could use some pointers.

[about ten minutes after the video goes up, a list is attached to it. (There are still plenty of eggs available!)]

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☆63☆ [Video]

Sun, 18 Jan 2015 01:45:53 GMT

[The scene on the video is a filled bathtub, with a fish swimming around in it. Fairly contently, by the look of it, but given the amount of water that seems to have also made it outside the tub... there may have been a bit of a scuffle.]

...Y'know, it'd have been nice to have had a warning. Even if whoever it was wanted to keep the species secret. I get that. Surprises and stuff. Not something I'd bother with, but if that's your thing, more power to you.

But at least something saying "This egg contains a fish" would've been nice, don't you think? Would mean I would've been able to have some water handy. And I might've been able to plan around who was out where and when.

But then, I guess not everybody has a goddamn homicidal starfish to deal with, huh...

[...yes he hatched it late he's been busy okay he didn't want to be dealing with a baby on top of the business he's been dealing with]

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☆62.5☆ [Fourth Wall]

Sun, 30 Nov 2014 21:16:57 GMT

[So for once, Ryner isn't buried in random crap for a fourth wall. Although to be honest, he'd kind of prefer that. At least that's expected, plus once you get used to the pressure the piles make good blankets.

Nope, this time he's stuck in Pewter's museum, where there's a new exhibit on display.

A certain familiar (to him) mask.

Suffice it to say, Ryner does not look pleased.]

Haaa, I thought Ferris destroyed that...

[His pokemon, also, don't look pleased. Jehra is growling at it like it holds some kind of disaster inside it, and Rose is hissing at it angrily.

Also a certain ghost girl is in the background, staying over next to the wall and trying not to let the others' reactions bother her. Which, of course, Ryner notices, with a chagrined sigh.]

...Guys, this is completely different, okay? It's from back home. Nothing to do with that, so just stop it already.

[[Do watch out - if you put on the mask, you'll see a vision of all your worst fears lumped together. ...What, it's from an interesting side story.]]

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☆62☆ [Video]

Tue, 30 Sep 2014 01:40:59 GMT

[So you know those foxes from the other day?

The video feed shows one of them happily chewing on tree branches.

...Or, well, they're actually not tree branches, but rather the antlers of a Sawsbuck. A Sawsbuck who is singing a cheerful tune and seems quite content at the fox thing gnawing on her antlers.

Even if the Sawsbuck isn't concerned, though...]

Er... Do you think I should stop this? I mean, if she was bothered she could probably get him off herself easily, but this is Ellie we're talking about...

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☆61☆ [Video]

Mon, 01 Sep 2014 17:17:43 GMT

[...well, some kind of storm seems to have swept through this inn room. And Ryner looks a bit beaten up even as he sits trying to calm down a couple of those cat things that have been falling from the sky. (They look terrified and quivering, and are kind of clinging to each other. But then, terrified is kind of their default, isn't it...)]

...Okay. Public service announcement time.

[...Ryner sounds like now would be a really good time for a nap in order to get away from a reality that has gone just a little too far this time.]

You know these cat things that're falling from the sky for no reason? Don't touch their ears.

No, seriously, don't.

[If you notice in the background, there's an Absol chastising a grumpy Clefairy, and if you speak Pokemon you might note that the latter is arguing that she didn't think that'd happen, geeze. But surely that's unrelated.]

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☆60☆ [Video]

Mon, 23 Jun 2014 22:36:38 GMT

You know, there's this thing that's been bugging me for a while.

[Ryner's sitting at a desk, an open notebook and a couple of open books in front of him. Looks like someone's been doing something other than sleeping.]

In the Pokedex, it lists each kind of Pokemon and gives it a species classification, right? Like how Clefairy is the Fairy Pokemon, or Absol is the Disaster Pokemon, or Joltik is the Attaching Pokemon. And I mean, most of them are fine.

But then you've got Noctowl, the Owl Pokemon. And, well, I know what an Owl is, but they don't exist in this world, right? There aren't any normal animals here, only Pokemon and people. So why would they classify it as an Owl if they shouldn't know what an Owl is?

And okay, sure, owl is in Noctowl's name, but something like Buneary, the Rabbit Pokemon, or Cyndaquil, the Fire Mouse Pokemon. How do you explain those?

[Also, in the background, a Buneary might be seen rummaging through Ryner's bag while a shiny Togetic and a Munna look on, but that's probably not important...]

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☆59.5☆ [Fourth Wall]

Sat, 31 May 2014 01:51:39 GMT

[Today, in a grassy field... somewhere... there is a bed. It is a large bed, and it looks like it is quite fluffy and comfortable.

It is also walking. Albeit slowly, and only once in a while, and only around the general area. The way it bends slightly at the end when it's stopped, it's almost like it's grazing or something. But surely there's no such thing as a living bed, right?...

Well, either way. There is a certain lazy mage taking a snooze on said grazing bed, along with several odd creatures. (There are two of that last one.) ...Also his Joltik in a top hat, but that's not too much of a surprise, honestly.

Pester? y/n

...Also, if anyone is curious, there is also a ghost girl sitting under a nearby tree, setting up a picnic.]

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☆59☆ [Video]

Fri, 14 Mar 2014 20:15:30 GMT

All right, question.

[Despite how it's mid-afternoon, Ryner is flopped on his bed, hugging a pillow. He does have a notebook in front of him, though, so maybe he hasn't been napping ~~for once~~? The tiny top hat-wearing Joltik on his neck certainly is taking a cute little snooze, though.]

How do you help someone to get over something? I mean, obviously the way I deal with things isn't gonna work for her, otherwise it'd be fine already, but I don't really have any other ideas, and it's been over a year... I just want everybody to move on already. Is that really too much to ask?

[Before he can continue, though, there's the sound of a cat-like creature jumping onto the bed, and an Espeon quietly dropping a note in front of Ryner's head, which he picks up and reads.]

Ahh, Jiru? Wha--oh. Ahh, I guess it is that time of year, isn't it. Nice of her to write a note this time...

[He reaches up to scritch the Espeon, who gives a happy "Eo~on" of approval at the attention.]

Haaa, guess the other part is, I've got eggs for sale. Again. Cleffas and Eevees, by the look of it. Delivery's not a problem, so just give me a couple minutes, I'll write up the egg moves they've got...

[The feed ends here, but a few minutes later a text file is attached with egg moves and prices.

(As of the time of this writing, there are still plenty of Cleffa eggs available if anyone wants them!)]

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☆58☆ [Video] [Backdated to yesterday for weather reasons]

Tue, 28 Jan 2014 03:32:44 GMT

It kind of feels weird that Joltiks can't learn Thunder. I mean, I guess it's probably because they're so tiny? And if he evolved... eh, but if he doesn't want to, he doesn't want to. Not my place to push him one way or the other.

[Ryner is on one of the sturdier branches of a tree, lazing back against the trunk as though he's considering taking a nap right there (he probably is) and watching his party go about their business down below. It would appear as though five large pieces of paper with X-shaped targets drawn on them have been spaced out over the ground, and five of the six 'mons are eyeing them intently.

The sixth, the Joltik in question (wearing a tiny top hat), is standing on a stump in front of them, and with a "Tik!!" raises one of his front legs.

At that point, there is a loud roar, as all five of the other Pokemon - a Clefairy, an Absol, a Wigglytuff, an Audino, and a Staryu - use Thunder at the same time. All of them strike their targets true, except the Clefairy, who frowns with a pout.]

Not that it's that big of a deal, though. Thunderbolt's better anyway. Sure, Thunder gets you more power, if that's what you're going for, but look at the cost.

["Tik!!" The Joltik raises his leg again, and another roar happens as another round of Thunders go off. This time, only the Clefairy and Staryu hit their targets.]

Seriously, that lack of accuracy is pretty terrible. If it was Izuchi, I'd much rather go for a version that pinpointed exactly where I wanted it to go over power. ...Ahh, well, actually I'd be most likely to go for casting speed, honestly, but that's not really the point, and that doesn't really seem to matter as much for Pokemon anyway...

Besides, if you don't hit the right thing, you could end up causing damage where you don't--

["Tik!!" Once again, the roar and Thunders go off. This time, the only one who misses is the Staryu, whose Thunder hits dangerously close to the tree Ryner's in. Ryner is not amused.]

Hey! Watch where you're aiming that, Arius! Don't make me regret teaching you that as a reward for good behavior already...

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☆57.5☆ [Fourth Wall]

Tue, 26 Nov 2013 02:18:12 GMT

[Somewhere, somehow, there is a pile of slimes. It's a pretty impressive pile, several feet high. Blue blobby things all grinning cheerfully.

Of course, this would be just an amusing, if odd, sight, if it wasn't for the fact that at the bottom of that slime pile, there's a single human arm sticking out... and twitching.

If you listen closely, you might even be able to hear a strained voice from beneath them all...]

...somebody... a little help...

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☆57☆ [Video]

Fri, 01 Nov 2013 22:57:12 GMT

Three years, huh. Kind of hard to believe it's been that long.

[It's probably not really all that surprising to see Ryner leaning on an open book on top of a desk while lazily examining some sort of CD-ish thing, though he certainly looks far more relaxed than he had all October. (Gee, I wonder why that could be.) To the side of the camera - probably elsewhere on the desk - there is the sound of someone intently drawing something with some sort of pen; meanwhile, there is an Absol sitting next to Ryner leaning his head against his trainer's chest (and receiving scritches), while a Joltik in a tiny top hat (...yes) is curled up between his neck and his shoulder blade.]

I guess it hasn't been a total waste of time, anyway. And, well, I can think of worse situations to be stuck in for years on end...

Haa, though, it'd be nice if bothersome stuff didn't keep leading up to Rose's birthday like this. Seriously, what the hell is with October, anyway? Especially this year. I'm really finding it hard to believe all of that was just a dream - even considering and despite everything I've seen. I mean, if anyone else's got any thoughts on what that was, I'd love to hear them, 'cause I have no idea, but...

["Fairy!" Rose chimes in a little, though mostly to get her dear partner's attention, and Ryner turns his attention briefly toward the Clefairy who is apparently the one who's been drawing off screen. After a moment, he smiles (though in a somewhat embarrassed way), turning the camera to show off what Rose has done - it's a many colored pen drawing of Ryner casting Izuchi like some kind of exalted wingless angel while moonlight shines down on him from above. ...In the style of a Clefairy with the skill of approximately a kindergartener, but.]

Ahh, that's really good, Rose! Even if it's a little much, honestly... and it kind of proves my point...

["Clef clefairy~" Rose is quite proud of herself as she clutches her new pen - one of those cool ones with several different colors of ink that you can choose between, which has a rose-quartz flower tassel at the end to mark it as hers and because it was fitting - and perhaps even more so when she unexpectedly puts the pen down and leaps into Ryner's arms.]

W-Wait, Rose, what are--GAAH!

[The 'gear is dropped onto the desk with the video pointed toward the ceiling, and there is the sound of a chair and its occupants crashing to the ground.]

...If you want a hug, Rose, you don't have to do that, y'know...

[The feed stays on for a moment before the Joltik (still in a top hat) scuttles on over, peers cutely at the camera for a moment, and then turns it off. Ryner will be a minute, after all. Falling over in chairs hurts.]

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☆56☆ [Anonymous Text/Action for Ecruteak] - Backdated to the night of the third nightmare

Mon, 21 Oct 2013 02:08:21 GMT

( cut for prose )

[Anonymous Text]

I know what I am. I know I can't change that. But is it wrong to wish that I could? Is it wrong to want something to not go wrong for a change?

[Anyone up in Ecruteak in the wee hours of the night/morning, meanwhile, will find Ryner and Rose on a bench by the pond near the Bell Tower. If you come at around sunrise, they probably fell asleep together on the bench. ...No, not like that, you perverts.]

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☆55☆ [Video]

Thu, 03 Oct 2013 03:14:41 GMT

[Today's video feed is brought to you, for a change of pace, by a Ditto, blobbily flopped on a desk chair. And it seems this Ditto has a question! ...Sure only Pokemon would be able to understand it, but. He does anyway.]

So, everybody asks questions on this network, right? Because I could use a little advice.

[The video feed is then turned toward the bathroom door, where it seems one Ryner Lute is currently being kept quite busy trying to enter while keeping a Clefairy, an Absol, an Espeon, an Umbreon, and a Joltik from coming in with him.]

Ahhh, seriously, what's with you guys today? I'm just going to the bathroom, all right? You don't need to be in there with me for that! In fact, I don't want you guys in there with me for that!

["Fairy clef clefairy!" On the contrary, Rose, for some reason, seems to have decided that her dear partner is not to be left by himself for even a single second all month. And the others seem to be going along with that.

...Okay, well, the Eeveelutions appear to mostly be in it for the attention. But still.]

This really isn't funny! Let me shut the door already!

[The camera turns back to the Ditto, who doesn't look like he quite agrees with the Clefairy's methods.]

How do you get someone to stop holding a grudge? I mean, I don't hold 'em anyway, so I don't know, and this is just getting kind of sad, you know?

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☆54☆ [Video]

Sun, 22 Sep 2013 00:58:05 GMT

You know, I was actually kind of prepared, this time. Dunno whether that says more about me having been here too long so I know their schedule, or about them that they have a schedule in the first place.

[The video today is of a pile of eggs that are all sprawled out blankets and pillows and the like. A Clefairy is off in the background having what appears to be a staring contest with a Ditto, except that instead of just saying things, the Clefairy keeps repeating "fai... fai..." and the Ditto keeps correcting "di... di..." But surely that's not important, since the focus is on the eggs.]

Hell, why September and March, of all months? How regular it is makes you wonder if it's some kind of special reason for it, especially knowing Rose, but there isn't anything I can think of in either month, since that was November...

...Ahh, well, either way. I've got eggs for sale, again. I'll write up a list, and I think I've got the egg moves right, if Rose gave me the right parents anyway... I'll take care of delivery, no problem. Just want to see them get to good homes, y'know?

[Attached is a photo of the list. Shiny chance (which I will draw tomorrow) is not IC knowledge! But egg moves are. Also, there are still tons of eggs left if you want them!]

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☆53☆ [Video]

Fri, 23 Aug 2013 02:30:04 GMT

[On the left, there is a timid Yanma, quietly growling (to the best degree that a dragonfly can growl) and tensely, slowly inching forward, though never getting too far away from a safety blanket.

On the right, there is an Omanyte. ...Just sort of sitting there, blinking blearily at the Yanma like okay seriously what is your problem.

The Yanma inches toward the Omanyte, never once taking her eyes off it, getting closer, closer, closer... and then pokes out a front leg to touch it. As soon as this contact is made, however, she ZOOMS backward, scrambling back under her safety blanket.

...but only for a minute, because shortly afterward, she peeks out again and starts inching forward one more time.

This goes on for a little before commentary comes in from Ryner, who's holding the camera.]

Believe it or not, this is the most out-going I've ever seen Rey. ...Ahh, though, I guess maybe they have a couple things in common? Well, either way. She's finally making progress.

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☆52☆ [Video]

Mon, 29 Jul 2013 03:25:24 GMT

-mit, I really don't need this today. On top of the worst swarm since Rey's...

[Today, the 'gear is turned on when it accidentally falls out of Ryner's pocket, and the video it's recording is... chaotic.

There are Omanytes and Archens everywhere, with the occasional Omastar or Archeops going past, and an Absol and Clefairy trying to go easy on them but knock them out. Jehra is just using False Swipe on them; Rose is taking this as an opportunity to practice controlling the power of her Doubleslap.

Oh, but the more interesting thing might be the Gyarados roaring in the background - a roar of both pain and fury - as she lashes and snaps at the various fossils that are trying to climb all over her. The water she's splashing around is making quite a mess.]

Fyn, you've gotta calm down! We'll go somewhere else and relax for a while, maybe have something special to celebrate, but you need to calm down!

[But the Gyarados isn't listening, instead continuing to roar and lash her tail at anything in the area, fossil or not. A large rock gets swept up in one of these lashes and flies toward Ryner unexpectedly, but a Mienfoo quickly Low Kicks it into harmless pieces.]

Thanks, Tei. ...Ahh, dammit. Fine, guess I'll have to get up there and calm you down myself, huh. Glen, can I get your help here?

["Tik!" The tiny!spider on Ryner's shoulder is ready and willing to help out with that.

An Omanyte tries to grab hold of the 'gear at this point, but a shiny Togepi notices this and pushes the Omanyte away with Ancientpower before grabbing it and turning it off.]

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☆51☆ [Text/Action for Azalea Town]

Sun, 23 Jun 2013 06:22:35 GMT

( Long prose background time!! :D )

[Text, about half an hour later]

What’s it like to have a family?

[If you want Ryner in person, he’s sitting under a tree in Azalea Town, knees bent partway up so he can lean forward on them, hand massaging his forehead, and generally looking pretty pale. Today has been an odd day, to put it nicely.]

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☆50.5☆

Sat, 01 Jun 2013 05:29:31 GMT

...Oh, come on!

[The video opens up to a shot of the windmill by Professor Elm's lab. A rather serene view, though Ryner himself sounds rather annoyed about it.]

If it was just this weird crap going on again, I could deal with it. But we'd just made it to Goldenrod! Can't this place leave us there for one day? One day!

But no. No, it's obviously way better for us to be sent to the other side of this half of the continent, so we can repeat the same amount of travel all over again. Actually, probably more, even!

[A herd of Sky Forme Shaymin fly past.]

Seriously, this suuuuucks.

[[CAMP! You can come play too if you want!]]

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☆50☆ [Audio]

Fri, 10 May 2013 05:21:05 GMT

[Today's brief audio message is brought to you by a 'gear that appears to have accidentally been turned on inside a bag or something. There is the sound of frantic running, and also the sound of lots of flapping of wings and... Zubat cries. At least two dozen of them.

Oh dear.]

Dammit Rose, this is why I told you to leave them alone!

["Clef clefairy!"]

No, you can't just knock them all out with Thunderbolt, and you already know why!

[...well, I wonder what a certain lazy mage is doing in a cave, of all places. And in trouble with a horde of Zubats, by the sound of it.

Then Sion's voice comes up on the recording. This probably doesn't come as much surprise, really.]

Well, we should still do something about this.... Dusk, try to warn them off with Flamethrower!

[and then there is the sound of an Absol breathing fire before the recording ends.]

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☆49☆ [Video]

Tue, 19 Mar 2013 04:00:59 GMT

I swear, they've got a schedule...

[So there's a certain lazy mage awkwardly sitting on a bed, surrounded by a small group of eggs. Four different species, by the look of it.]

Haa, so uh. Rose and the rest made eggs... again. Four Cleffas, an Igglybuff, two Eevees, and a Larvesta. Ah, and they all inherited some moves, if this book is right... I should probably write those down...

Anyway... P1000 should be good, right? And Gail and Lori can do deliveries in Johto anyway... It'd be nice if I could get them good homes, y'know? So, just let me know if you're interested.

[About twenty minutes later because Ryner is a slow typist, a text message follows it up, containing the available species and what moves they'll inherit.]

[[There are still two Cleffas left as of the time of this writing if anyone wants 'em!]]

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