My best friends are an idiot king who's such a work-a-holic asshole that he'd forget to eat if he didn't have people around to nag him, and a temperamental woman who beats me up for fun and is obsessed with dango. All I want to do is stay out of people's way, but the universe always conspires to put me in there anyway. And this, today, isn't the first time I've had embarrassing things happen with girls here.