An Ideal World

Might as well set this up, I guess...

Um... well, I guess I'm not around right now, for some reason. So if you want to talk or something, leave a message and I'll get back to you when I can.

[And this would be where the beep goes.]

[Well, here's a rare sight these days: a certain lazy mage is actually showing his face on the network. He's sitting in a chair, a tired expression on his features, his arms crossed over his chest...

...and a Clefairy popping up every few seconds, poking him with what appear to be an assortment of evolution stones. Moon is not among them.

He lets this run for about thirty seconds before speaking up.]

All right. Who gave her this idea, and why? Hell, I'd take an answer for what she thinks she's doing.

I'm not even going to ask where she got them - I'm sure that's where Gail and Julia were the other day, taking a trip to Goldenrod on their own. Just... what?

[The video starts pointing out the window, toward a yard where autumn-colored leaves are falling off the local trees. Ecruteak is great for that.]

So, we're halfway through October. It's been quiet so far, far as I know anyway. If things are going to be anything like the last few years, though, it's not gonna stay that way, so I guess this is kind of your friendly reminder not to go out alone this month. Not even for a five minute trip to the store, because you never know if a bunch of Duskulls and Shuppets are playing tug of war with a thing they shouldn't be for stupid reasons just around the corner.

[After a pause, he lets out a long sigh.]

That being said. Since you never know who's interested, and since some folks around this house still need to learn to let go of things that it'd be really nice to finally forget about...

[The camera view shifts to show that Ryner is standing... in the middle of a kitchen. And on the counter, there are a few bowls, a few containers of ingredients, a Yamask unsurely fiddling with a mini white board, and a Clefairy who looks very much like she does not want to be there.]

...Marian has agreed to teach everyone how to make dango. Anybody watching this, and me, and yes, you too, Rose.

["Fairy!" She is so very not pleased.]

Don't even try it today, this has gone on way too long and you know it. ...Well, anyway. Marian, whenever you're ready.

[he says as he puts the camera down where it has a good view of the whole counter. The Yamask trills cheerfully, and then pulls out and offers to Ryner... an apron. Mostly plain, though there's a little bit of lace at the bottom...

...He kind of stares at it for a moment.]

...Ahh, that's taking it a little too far, though. Why'd you even get that...?

( And here's an OOC cut for some TL;DR on the cooking itself. )

[Once they're cooked, and put on skewers, and once Marian has happily written her final note that says "And that's how you do it! See? It's not hard at all!" Ryner offers Rose one of the skewers.]

Thanks, Marian. So, Rose. What do you think?

[She's notedly hesitant. Because on the one hand, dango is the best. But on the other, kitchens and Marian and her dear partner should not be involved with both of those combined.

...Eventually dango being the best wins out, and she takes the skewer and takes a small bite of the one on the end. And chews thoughtfully.

And then goes over to Marian's white board, grabs a pen of her own, and writes, "Its not as good as the stuff from the store." But it doesn't look like she dislikes it, either.]

...Ahh, well, if you're not spitting it out in disgust or anything, I guess it's not too bad for a first time, then, right?

[He'll just ignore the glare she's shooting him that screams "don't you even dare do this again Dear Partner" as he takes a stick to have himself, then grabs the camera to turn it off.]

[Another fourth wall, another pile of critters in a field somewhere.

Only this time, instead of Larvestas or Slimes, they're cute little white blobby things. Poyomons, not that anyone would recognize them. Maybe a Pabumon here or there in the pile.

And as usual, Ryner is buried in them, though at least his head's sticking out this time, so he can breathe.]

Great. This again. Of course.

[The scene on the video is a filled bathtub, with a fish swimming around in it. Fairly contently, by the look of it, but given the amount of water that seems to have also made it outside the tub... there may have been a bit of a scuffle.]

...Y'know, it'd have been nice to have had a warning. Even if whoever it was wanted to keep the species secret. I get that. Surprises and stuff. Not something I'd bother with, but if that's your thing, more power to you.

But at least something saying "This egg contains a fish" would've been nice, don't you think? Would mean I would've been able to have some water handy. And I might've been able to plan around who was out where and when.

But then, I guess not everybody has a goddamn homicidal starfish to deal with, huh...

[...yes he hatched it late he's been busy okay he didn't want to be dealing with a baby on top of the business he's been dealing with]

[so this happened

and as Ryner's body lies there, barely alive such that if you're not looking hard you might miss it and think he's dead, his consciousness awakens elswhere

in a squishy crimson corridor that he's seen before]

[So you know those foxes from the other day?

The video feed shows one of them happily chewing on tree branches.

...Or, well, they're actually not tree branches, but rather the antlers of a Sawsbuck. A Sawsbuck who is singing a cheerful tune and seems quite content at the fox thing gnawing on her antlers.

Even if the Sawsbuck isn't concerned, though...]

Er... Do you think I should stop this? I mean, if she was bothered she could probably get him off herself easily, but this is Ellie we're talking about...

You know, there's this thing that's been bugging me for a while.

[Ryner's sitting at a desk, an open notebook and a couple of open books in front of him. Looks like someone's been doing something other than sleeping.]

In the Pokedex, it lists each kind of Pokemon and gives it a species classification, right? Like how Clefairy is the Fairy Pokemon, or Absol is the Disaster Pokemon, or Joltik is the Attaching Pokemon. And I mean, most of them are fine.

But then you've got Noctowl, the Owl Pokemon. And, well, I know what an Owl is, but they don't exist in this world, right? There aren't any normal animals here, only Pokemon and people. So why would they classify it as an Owl if they shouldn't know what an Owl is?

And okay, sure, owl is in Noctowl's name, but something like Buneary, the Rabbit Pokemon, or Cyndaquil, the Fire Mouse Pokemon. How do you explain those?


[Also, in the background, a Buneary might be seen rummaging through Ryner's bag while a shiny Togetic and a Munna look on, but that's probably not important...]

All right, question.

[Despite how it's mid-afternoon, Ryner is flopped on his bed, hugging a pillow. He does have a notebook in front of him, though, so maybe he hasn't been napping for once? The tiny top hat-wearing Joltik on his neck certainly is taking a cute little snooze, though.]

How do you help someone to get over something? I mean, obviously the way I deal with things isn't gonna work for her, otherwise it'd be fine already, but I don't really have any other ideas, and it's been over a year... I just want everybody to move on already. Is that really too much to ask?

[Before he can continue, though, there's the sound of a cat-like creature jumping onto the bed, and an Espeon quietly dropping a note in front of Ryner's head, which he picks up and reads.]

Ahh, Jiru? Wha--oh. Ahh, I guess it is that time of year, isn't it. Nice of her to write a note this time...

[He reaches up to scritch the Espeon, who gives a happy "Eo~on" of approval at the attention.]

Haaa, guess the other part is, I've got eggs for sale. Again. Cleffas and Eevees, by the look of it. Delivery's not a problem, so just give me a couple minutes, I'll write up the egg moves they've got...

[The feed ends here, but a few minutes later a text file is attached with egg moves and prices.

(As of the time of this writing, there are still plenty of Cleffa eggs available if anyone wants them!)]