tearsofademon | ☆41☆ [Video]

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☆41☆ [Video]

[The 'gear is at an angle this evening - it was obviously turned on on purpose, but it's not recording him head-on, instead from his side, while he's lying down. That doesn't mean you won't be able to make out things like the tiger stripe-like markings on his arms, or the fact that he's wearing sunglasses at night, or the fact that there's a tiny yellow spider cuddling very happily between his neck and shoulder, but.]

So, I'm kind of curious. Anyone got any interesting legends or anything, back where they come from?

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[Surprisingly, Cobra's not calling in to argue with or threaten Ryner this time.]

Oh yesss, there's plenty of interesting legends where I come from! And most of them are true!

Are they, now.

Yesss, they are! Like the legend of Excalibur! That one's real! Also ssssome of the Greek myths are also true according to sssssome of my soldiers back home!

[Not that he really expects Ryner to be familiar with either of those stories.]

Can't say I've heard of those before... All right, what's Excalibur, then?

A sssword wielded by a legendary king in my world! They sssay that whoever finds it gains incredible power! And one of my operatives managed to find it! But due to his astounding incompetence, he lost it sssssoon after! We never were able to find it again either!

Haaa, you have relics like that where you come from?

Of course! In addition to Excalibur, there's everything from the Golden Fleece to the Dragonfire to the Conch of the Ssssirens!

[And trying to acquire them ends badly every single time.]

Never heard of any of those, either. What are they?

You really want me to explain them?

[Because he was half expecting to have been called a pain by now.]

I wouldn't be asking if I wasn't interested.

[He's actually interested in something you're saying, Cobra. This isn't something you'll probably ever see again.]

Of course.

Which one would you like me to explain first?

Mmm... let's go in order, I guess. The Golden Fleece?

Ah, that one is from an ancient Greek legend. According to ancient legend, a legendary hero named Jason was tasked by a king to retrieve it in order to become a king himself! It was sssaid to be the fleece of a winged ram, but as Cobra forces discovered, it was actually a golden cone dropped by an alien spacecraft!

[He is 100% serious, Ryner.]

One of my operatives ssstupidly shot the cone and it somehow sent them all back in time to ancient Greece! Thereby creating the legend in the first place! When they were returned to their own time, the aliens took the cone, preventing Cobra ssscientists from dismantling it and using it to conquer the past!

[And that's exactly what happened. But with more G.I. Joes being mistaken for the Argonauts and performing the labors of Hercules.]

...Seriously?

[On the one hand, considering some of what he's seen and read, it's certainly not impossible. On the other hand... that's a little out there, yes.]

Yesss, seriously! As far as I know, that's exactly what happened! Unless my troops were making things up!

[Which is possible, but not the case this time!]

And they weren't because the UFO was seen by both my forces and G.I. Joe! And thisss time it wasn't a craft I had made to deceive them!

...Have to say, I would have never expected something like that from where you come from.

Why is that?

[To be fair, he didn't really expect it either. SURPRISE IT'S ALIENS usually doesn't happen during his operations.]

It's kind of... I guess I just never expected something that interesting to come from the same place as someone like you.

And what is that supposed to mean?

Oh, nothing important.

So, what's the Dragonfire, then?

You better not be insulting me!

[Now then, where was he?]

The Dragonfire is a mystical subterranean energy. This energy can only be focused in a number of places and is heavily protected! Legends about it are incredibly rare because its guardians obvioussssly do not want it to fall into the wrong hands.

[He snickers here. Guess who would qualify as "the wrong hands?"]

Of course finding the Dragonfire isn't the hard part. Using it requires an ancient chant, known only to its guardians and the proper conductors to channel it. So once I learned of one of its sssacred locations, I had an Alley Viper pose as a monk and record the chant! Cobra took the monastery and turned the Dragonfire into a weapon of mass destruction!

[He is so proud of this.]

Of course you'd do something like that with it.

That's right! Of course I would! And you'd do well to remember that!

...What about the Conch of the Sirens, then?

In my world, there's an ancient ssstory called the Odyssey. At one point, the hero's ship sails by a place inhabited by creatures called ssssirens. The sirens possessed a golden shell that when blown into produces a ssssong! And any man who hears that song would be compelled to crash their ship into the nearby rocks!

I, like many people, assumed this to be complete fiction, and never bothered looking for such an item! But my right hand man, Destro, was able to talk me into searching the Adriatic Sea for relics, and managed to actually find the thing after wasting ridiculous amounts of money! Money that was definitely not worth sssspending on such a horrible item!

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[Video] I am so sorry but this is what happened in the episode

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